So you've been spending a lot of time with this amazingly sweet person you met on our website and you think you are ready to meet this person.  But you have heard all these internet horror stories about how your friend's friend knows a guy who's room mate had a sister who dated someone online, then met them, was kidnapped, taken to mars, probed, then finally released on the highway three days later with a headache, no clothes, and a hairpin (You'd be surprised the stories we've heard).  Now obviously this is an extreme scenario, but when you meet someone for the first time in person, safety is something to take very seriously.

We have prepared a few Tips & Suggestions to ensure that you minimise any chance they have to take advantage of you (should they be illegitimate) as well as ensuring you always have an escape plan.

1. Always meet in a public place when meeting for the first time.  Now this one seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how convincing some people can be online with lines that suggest they need to be home, or would really love to cook for you at your place.  Whatever they come up with, the first time you meet, meet in public.  Great places are movie theaters, malls, tourist locations, popular shops, restaurants, cafes, or anywhere people will be found in abundance.

2. Always have an escape plan.  Many people actually do this already, but the ones that don't, usually never thought about it.  Essentially have whatever means you need to get away, and get home, always at hand.  Weather it be public transit tokens/tickets, your car keys, or if nothing else, your cell phone with a freind you can call.  Always have a means to get back home.

3. People are not always what they appear to be on the internet. To be confident that the person you are getting to know is genuine, first spend time chatting online.  Build some trust before you speak on the phone or meet in person.  But be fair to this person, they have every right to be as cautious about you, as you are about them.  Never be offended if they are careful with you.  If anything, this means that they are taking this seriously.

4. Don't be pressured into meeting. If you don't feel ready or comfortable, wait a while. If someone you're chatting to online seems pushy then there's good reason to be cautious. A genuine person interested in friendship, or dating, will be happy/willing to wait until you feel comfortable enough to meet. Generally speaking, a person who pushes for a quick meet - often on the day you start chatting - is likely looking for something you are not.

5. If you have a webcam it's very tempting to hurriedly link up with a new internet friend. But first, make sure you are not revealing details about where you live, and be prepared, you might not like what you see. The person on the other end of the video chat may not be what you are expecting, and you don't want to be the cruel, or hurtful person that you are worried that they might be.  However at the same time, it's great to link up via webcam before meeting in person.  This grants you the opportunity to see the person ahead of time, and get an idea what they look like, and how they act.  This not only gives you a bit more information into who they are as a person, but it also can save you some trouble/shock when meeting them for the first time.

Simply follow your instinct. If you do not feel good or comfortable about meeting someone, then do not meet that person. Never agree to meet someone because he or she is being insistent about it. Meet someone only when you feel comfortable doing so. Remember that you always have the choice to say no. If this person does not respect your choice, you should question his or her credibility as a caring and respectful person.

- Steven Wells

Shaadidates.com