So....I have major issues with whoever it was in my life that told me that I needed "closure" with my life's issues...I hope they are somewhere in the world running in circles after their own imaginary closure. Let's think about this for a minute. What is closure? The dictionary defines it as "approaching a particular destination; narrowing of a gap". Psychology will describe it as "the state of experiencing an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event."

Okay so let's say you're in a relationship and it ends, leaving a giant mud puddle of emotions in your life and an empty feeling in your heart. Let's say in this scenario, you have a great friend (or so you think) that introduces you to the concept of closure. In your current state, you are open to anything that could possible help you feel less like death and more like yourself again and of course, the concept of finally getting the perfect ending you need sounds oh-so-appealing. So, with your new sense of direction, you scamper away looking for your closure. Little do you know, is that this closure is completely dependant on someone else...and often, someone that may not be so open to talk to you. But you feel you need this closure and you try forcing it, thinking that receiving it will give you your life back. In some cases, you may get some form of this closure from that particular someone, but it's not the "emotional conclusion" you wanted, so you keep trying to get it in the form that you want it in hopes that it will discontinue this hurt you're feeling. Trust me, you won't get it...and if you do, you'll wonder why your pain is still there.

What I'm going to tell you may change your life: You don't need closure. You are much better off without it. You will feel the hurt, you will feel the pain and it's completely natural. Rely on yourself to heal your bleeding heart, but do not depend on someone else because that will cause you even more pain. When you keep pursuing this concept of closure and you don't receive it in the form that you want or need, it delays your healing process, it increases your pain and it can often demean someone else's perception of you because you are giving the impression that you are weak minded.

When you wonder what started all of this....it leads you right back to this notion of closure. Now don't you wish you could wipe this word out of your mental dictionary? We can all thank that "great friend" that introduced us to this theory however long ago, for forever engraving this phony theory in our mindset. Do your friends a favour and DO NOT allow them to fall into the same trap...save them years of disillusion and tell them that their own willpower and mind power is stronger than any words that someone else can tell them to heal their pain!

Good luck!

Author: Aman Baidwan